


Scho you want to be a werewolf too...

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Revenge, Werewolf Sex, beastality, horse dildo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-23
Updated: 2009-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-16 20:09:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3501269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Murderface and Skwisgaar have an odd conversation that leads to very fucked up things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scho you want to be a werewolf too...

Skwisgaar was bored, and feeling ornery. Deciding that he would go torment Toki (always a fun time), he set off to find him.  
But everywhere he looked, no Toki. It was strange, he was _always_ there, where could he possibly be? It wasn’t long before he’d run out of places to look. Hell, he’d even looked under his own bed, in case Toki was hiding there. For some reason.  
Well, Toki was missing, so there would be no entertainment there. Who else was fun to torment?  
Why Murderface, of course. Not as much fun, but he would do.

Making his way down to that stinky dungeon room, Skwisgaar didn’t bother knocking. It wasn’t like _Murderface_ would be getting laid or anything, the man repelled every female for miles around.  
But he wasn’t alone, he had a dog- No, a _wolf_ in there with him. He looked up when Skwisgaar entered, correctly guessing the reason for his visit. “Scho you can’t find Toki, huh?”  
”Ja, it ams very strange.”  
Murderface grinned. “Thatsch becausche he’sch right here.” He motioned toward the wolf who was sniffing around in the corner.

“Dat ams not Toki, dat ams a wolfs.”  
“Schure he isch, watch.” He clapped his hands. “Come here Toki, here boy!”  
The wolf trotted to him and sat at his feet. Skwisgaar gaped at it in disbelief. “Hows?”  
Murderface sat on his bed, and the wolf hopped up to lay beside him. “Well you schee, there’sch schomething you don’t know about me. I mean, you know I’m hairy and schmelly, but you don’t know why.”  
Skwisgaar leaned against the doorframe, trying not to appear too interested. “Goes on.”  
“I’m actually a werewolf, it’sch the truth.”

“Whats? You says you ams do wolfs, but you says Toki ams de wolfs... I ams confuses.”  
Petting the large wolf beside him, Murderface explained. “I wasch born a werewolf, scho that’sch different. My dad wasch one, that’sch why he killed himschelf and my mom. He didn’t realize I had it too, or he wouldn’t have left me alive. Being born to it isch different, you have total control over it.”  
“Okays, we will assumes I believes you. How ams dat explaining dis wolf you says is Toki?”  
“Easchy. He aschked me to turn him into one, scho I did.”

Curiosity won over doubt, and Skwisgaar approached the bed. “Toki?” The wolf looked up at him, and he noticed a convincing detail: it had blue eyes. Real wolves didn’t have blue eyes, did they? He didn’t know, now that he thought about it, he really didn’t know much about wolves at all. “Why woulds Toki ask to be a werewolfs?”  
“That’sch easchy, for the benefitsch.”  
“Which ams?”  
“Schtronger, faschter, schtuff like that. He wanted to play better for you, and thisch was the only way he could improve enough.”

“Waits- You ams saying he does dis because of _me_?” Something else occurred to him. “Can he understands everyting we ams sayings, when he ams like dis?”  
Murderface shrugged. “I’m not schure, but it doeschn’t matter. Until he gets more usched to it, he won’t remember anything that happensch while he’sch a wolf.”  
“You says he ams going to be fasters?”  
“He will be, yeah, when it schettles in better. He’sch still new, that’sch why he spendsch hisch time with me while he’sch a wolf, scho I can protect him.” He leaned over, patting the wolf (Toki) who licked his face.

This was too much to process all at once, so Skwisgaar left and went back to his own room.  
So Toki was a werewolf now. How much faster would he get? Surely not faster that the fastest guitarist alive? But what if he did, what if he was?  
His thinking was interrupted by Toki himself sticking his head in the door. “Hi Skwisgaar. You was lookings for me?”  
“Where has you been?” Could it be possible that he really didn’t remember?  
“Um... nowheres. Whats you want me for?”  
Skwisgaar wasn’t ready to deal with this yet. “Notings, jus goes away.”  
Confused, Toki obeyed.

Now that he was looking for him, he noticed that Toki disappeared a lot.  
It wasn’t long before he found himself standing outside Murderface’s door, wondering if he really wanted to know more. He wasn’t sure, but he went in anyway.   
Murderface was laying on his bed naked, a sickening sight. Toki was wandering around the room. As Skwisgaar watched, he lifted his leg and peed on what might have been old clothing in the corner.  
Murderface jumped up. “Bad Toki!” The wolf cringed, and came to him, sitting at his feet. Then it started licking his balls apologetically.

Skwisgaar tried not to throw up. “Toki, _please_ stops dat. Murderfaces, please puts someting on, you ams makings me sick.”  
Murderface flipped him off, but pulled on his shorts. That was more tolerable.  
Toki padded over to Skwisgaar and nuzzled his hand, causing him to shriek. He knew all too well where that mouth had just been. With a laugh, Murderface sat on the bed, patting a spot beside him.  
A bit reluctantly, Skwisgaar went as sat beside him, but not too close. Toki hopped up and sat on the other side.

“So dids you bites him? Dat’s how it works, right?”  
“Don’t believe everything you schee in the moviesch. No I didn’t bite him, it’s a schectyally transmitted discheasche.”  
“Murderfaces? You ams telling me dat you _fucks_ Toki? _Why_?”  
“Becausche he asksch me to, dumbassch, he wanted to be a werewolf. Scheriouschly, could you be any more blond?”  
“I tink I ams goings to throws up now.”  
Murderface laughed as Skwisgaar fled the room.

****

Skwisgaar was watching Toki closely at their next practice, looking for any signs that he might be getting faster already. Was he? Just a little bit?  
Even creepier was Murderface. He was being all friendly to Toki, who seemed to enjoy it. They acted like good buddies, like they had been spending a lot of time together recently.  
If it was all true... but how could it not be true? That Toki let Murderface fuck him, a trade for this slight improvement? That he was spending a lot of his time as a wolf, sharing that very same bed?   
They seemed awfully friendly, there was no way to deny that.  
Skwisgaar wondered if he was jealous.

He stopped Toki after practice. “Waits, I ams wanting to talks to you.”  
The others filed out, Murderface throwing an unreadable look back at him on his way out the door.   
Toki came and sat beside Skwisgaar. “What’s you wants? To tells me my playing’s dildos again?”  
“No actuallies, you sounds better todays. I ams wanting to know what ams up wit you and Murderfaces.”  
“I can spends time with Moiderface if I wants, you’s not my boss. Why’s you care? It’s not like you ever wants to do anything with me anyways.”  
“I jus don’t likes you spendings de time wit him, dat’s all.”  
“Sorries Skwisgaar, I just don’t really cares what you think anymores.” He stood up and left the room without even a look back.  
Skwisgaar remained where he was. It was _true_ then, it was all true. 

Toki did seem a fraction faster. And if he really was getting faster, how long before he would be a threat?   
Skwisgaar was going crazy dealing with this. He _had_ to be the fastest, he just had to. One way or another. Could he do it? Could he possibly bring himself to let Murderface fuck him, if that was the price of remaining the best?  
The more he thought about it, the more time he spent in the bathroom throwing up. Eventually, his body would grow tired of reacting anymore, and then maybe he could go through with it.  
He ran for the bathroom again.  
Toki was clearly a lot tougher than he was to handle this and seem just fine.

****

It took about a week before he felt he could even talk about it, but Skwisgaar was back in Murderface’s room. He’d made sure Toki was occupied, he wanted privacy for this conversation even if it was true that Toki wouldn’t remember any of it.  
And sure enough, Murderface was alone.  
Skwisgaar dove in before he could lose his nerve or throw up again. “Murderfaces, I has to stay de fastest. I has to be de werewolfs too.”  
“Scho you want to be a werewolf too, I’m not schurprised. Schwisgaar, are you aschking me to fuck you?”  
Skwisgaar gagged a little, but managed to reply, “If that ams what it takes, den ja.”

Murderface crossed his arms. “Schorry, it’sch too late.”  
“Too lates! But I has to stay de fastest! You has to be makings me de werewolfs too! You has to!”  
“Let me explain how it worksch. Werewolvesch like me, we can only passch it on once. I gave it to Toki becausche he asched me to, scho I can’t make you one too.”  
Skwisgaar looked distressed, this was terrible news indeed. There _had_ to be a way...  
Murderface wasn’t done yet. “But if you _really_ want to be a werewolf, there’sch schtill a way. Toki can make you one, but he hasch to do it asch a wolf or it won’t work.”  
Would being fucked by a wolf really be any worse that being fucked by _Murderface_? If he had been wiling to do _that_ , surely he could manage this. “I needs to be tinking abouts dis.”  
Murderface waved to him as he fled.

That night he kept watching Toki. If this is what it took to stay the fastest, it was a sacrifice he was going to have to make. It wouldn’t kill him, and Toki wouldn’t even remember it.  
Toki noticed the attention. “Skwisgaar? You’s okay? You’s acting pretty strange lately.”  
“I ams not de onlies one actings strange, Little Toki. I knows what you has been ups to.”  
Toki looked shocked. “You can’ts know! There’s no way you coulds know that, you’s just fuckings with me!”  
“Whatevers. I ams going to mine room now.” And he did so.  
Lying on his bed, he decided there was no point in putting it off, he needed to just get it over with. He would go tomorrow, if Toki disappeared again.  
He _had_ to stay the fastest.

The next day, he waited for Toki to vanish. Then he waited a bit longer, just stalling now.  
Finally he got up and made his way to Murderface’s room.  
Murderface seemed to be expecting him, and yes, Toki was there. “I ams here to becomes de werewolfs too.”  
With a nod, Murderface beckoned him in. “Take your clothesch off and get on your handsch and kneesch.”  
“Does I has to?”  
“Yeah, that’sch the only way he knowsch how to fuck when he’sch like this.”  
Skwisgaar knelt on the cold floor, feeling very disturbed by what he was doing. Toki wandered over and started licking his face. “Stops dat, Toki!”

Murderface produced a bottle of something. “Wrong end Toki, come here boy.” He squirted something smelly on Skwisgaar’s bare ass.  
“What ams dat?!”  
“Werewolf muschk, scho he’ll do you. He’sch not gay, you know.”  
“You puts werewolf sex juice on mine butt?” That was pretty disgusting. Murderface just laughed.  
The effect was obvious though, Toki immediately went for the scent, treating Skwisgaar to a cold wet nose and sloppy tongue.

Skwisgaar held still as the wolf licked his ass, trying to remember that it was really just Toki. Slobber dripped from his balls.  
Murderface pulled out his phone and appeared to send a message. Who did he even have to talk to?  
This train of thought was cut off as the wolf suddenly mounted him, it had very good aim. Forelegs wrapped around him, it started humping away.  
It wasn’t as bad as he had expected, but very very strange.  
Murderface had his phone out again, and now seemed to be recording this scene.  
“Murderfaces, please don’ts be filming dis.”  
“Schorry, thisch is too good to passch up. But I promische I won’t put it on the internet, how’sch that?”

Suddenly the door burst open and the rest of his band mates stood there in shock. Seeing Skwisgaar in the middle of the floor being fucked by a large wolf was not an everyday sight. They hadn’t believed the text they’d all just received but here was the proof.  
“Skwisgaar?! Whats the fucks you doing with that wolf?!?  
“ _Toki_?! You’s not a werewolf!”  
“Noes shit.”  
Skwisgaar tried to get up, but couldn’t. “Oh fucks, I ams stuck! Gets it off me!”  
Nathan laughed at this. “You don’t know much about dogs, do you? You’re stuck until he’s done, that’s how they work.”  
Pickles was clearly very high. “Dude, jest try ta enjoy it.”

Skwisgaar was now completely mortified, but the wolf’s thrusting and his own inner exhibitionist were turning him on, despite himself. Pickles wandered over for a closer look, and apparently decided to help out.  
Skwisgaar couldn’t push him away, the wolf was _heavy_ , he needed both his arms to brace himself. “Pickle, please stop touching mine penis.”  
Pickles patted his head. “Relax, yer gonna be here a while.” He continued his ministrations.  
Murderface was still filming, grinning hugely. Nathan was watching in a state of confused shock. Toki was hiding behind Nathan, but watching as well.

The wolf (was it’s name really even Toki?) seemed perfectly happy to keep fucking him, breathing stinky doggie breath in his ear. Skwisgaar tried to pull away again, but it was hopeless. Having never watched this kind of porn, he really didn’t know what to expect.  
Pickles was still jacking him off, and the little bastard was far too good at it. He didn’t want to come like this, but it looked like that was what was going to happen. He had never been so humiliated in his life. “Murderfaces, as soon as I can gets up, I ams going to kills you. Pickle, _please_ stops.”  
“Ya gotta say it like ya mean it.” Pickles didn’t stop, he was too high.  
Skwisgaar, dropped his head, hiding behind his hair.

Pickles soon completed his mission, much to Skwisgaar’s shame, and sat down to watch the rest of the show.   
Nathan decided he didn’t want to see anymore of this. “Uh, I’m leaving now. Good luck getting that wolf out of you.” He turned and left.  
“Nathan, waits for me!” Toki couldn’t take any more of this either, and hurried after him.  
Pickles started petting the wolf, who looked annoyed.  
Murderface never quit filming, wishing he’d thought to get a real video camera for this. The Dethphone just didn’t have the best picture quality. This had totally been worth making friends with that wolf for.

Soon the wolf was done, but they were still locked together.  
Skwisgaar remained as he was, head down. Just waiting until he could get up and kill Murderface.  
The lack of action bored Pickles, and he finally got up and wandered out.   
Deciding that he had enough recorded, Murderface saved his video and left the room as well. There were too many weapons in here, if Skwisgaar truly went berserk on him this wasn’t the place to be. In fact, it would probably be a good idea to avoid him for a few days, or at least until he could make a hard copy of his very incriminating video.  
Blackmail opportunities like this didn’t come along every day.

Finally alone (except for the wolf), Skwisgaar tried to deal with everything.  
So if this wolf wasn’t Toki, then Murderface most likely wasn’t a werewolf either. And if Toki wasn’t a werewolf, then he would never be faster.  
So basically, Murderface just tricked him into letting a wolf fuck him while everybody watched.  
Finally, after what seemed like forever (to him), he felt the wolf slip out of him.  
He jumped up immediately, he couldn’t put his clothes back on fast enough.  
Fleeing the room, he shut the door behind him. If he was really lucky, the wolf would tear up something valuable.

Back in his room, hiding from everyone, Skwisgaar lay on his bed. (This was after several hot showers in a row, he _finally_ felt a little cleaner.)  
His door opened, and Nathan and Toki came in. He didn’t want to see them, he rolled toward the window. The bed shifted as they sat down.  
“Hey, uh, Murderface told us the whole story. And don’t worry, that tape won’t get out.”  
Toki touched his arm lightly. “You’s really _that_ worried about me? I’s never goings to be as good as you, you knows that.”

Well at least these two weren’t going to hold it over him, and Pickles likely wouldn’t remember anyway. That was good to know. “I needs to be alones.”  
They understood. Nathan patted his back awkwardly. “Well, you know, try not to worry about it?”  
“We still loves you Skwisgaar. But if you wants me to fucks you in the future, tries just askings me first. You never know, I might does it.”  
He had no idea how to respond to that, so he remained silent.  
Having said what they’d come to say, they got up and left.  
Skwisgaar just lay there. Hopefully he could get past this. Some people did stuff like that all the time, so it wasn’t even that weird, right?  
He could get past it, he had to.

But Murderface... Murderface was still going to pay.  
Oh yes.


	2. Skwisgaar’s Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skwisgaar worries about the possible health effects of his encounter with the wolf, and plots his revenge on Murderface. A few people asked for a sequel, but I won’t bother with blaming them this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those now wondering about me, no I’m not into all this. I’ve just (unfortunately) seen some pretty fucked up porn in my life.

It took three days for Skwisgaar to go from angry to nervous. What if it _wasn’t_ just a horrible joke? What if Murderface was actually trying to _kill_ him? He really couldn’t put that past him, it seemed completely possible.  
Unable to find the information he needed on his laptop, he saw no choice but to consult with the butler. After all, fixing their problems was what they paid him for. He probably already knew the story anyway, news tended to travel fast in the Haus.  
Realizing that stalling would only make things worse, he went to the butler’s office.

Charles looked up when Skwisgaar walked in, annoyed at being interrupted but expecting nothing less. “Yes Skwisgaar, may I help you?”  
Skwisgaar took a seat in front of the desk, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “I ams worries dat I has de rabies.”  
Setting aside his work, Charles marveled that this man never gave a thought to the vast assortment of STD’s he was in constant danger of, but showed up with the unlikely assumption that he had rabies. “I assure you, none of the women you’ve slept with are rabid. Have you recently been bitten by an animal?”  
“No, buts I gots fucked by dat wolf. Can you gets it dat way?”

Just when he’d thought he’d heard it all and couldn’t be surprised anymore... Amazingly he _hadn’t_ heard about this incident yet. “You had sex with a wolf?”  
“Ja. Murderfaces tells me it ams Toki, so I lets it fucks me so I can be de werewolfs too. But he lies to me, it ams jus a regulars wolfs.”  
“If _I_ told you that I was Toki, would you let me have sex with you?”  
Skwisgaar sat back, slouching in his chair. “Why ams everybodies tinking dat I wants to fucks Toki?”

Charles sighed. “Okay, never mind, that was inappropriate. Tell me, did the wolf, um, complete the act?”  
“You means did de wolf comes in mine ass?”  
“Yes.”  
“Ja, it dids. So does I has de rabies now?”  
“If it was one of our wolves, then no. We have them rounded up and vaccinated every year. Also, I’m not entirely sure it can be spread that way, saliva is generally the highest risk.”  
“Oh, it licks me lots before it fucks me.”

“That’s... more than I wanted to know. Please don’t worry about it, I’m sure you’re fine. I do request however, that in the future if you want, um, _that_ again, please stick to human participants.”  
“You ams tellings me to fucks guys?”  
“Well, women with strap-ons would actually be preferable, as long as the implement is clean. I could provide a selection, if you like.”  
“No tanks. If I ams not hasing de rabies, I’s going now.” This conversation was getting too weird for even him, so he got up and left.

****

Murderface needed too pay for his treachery, but was being very wary. Of course he expected retaliation, so Skwisgaar needed some help if he were to get his revenge. Not knowing who else to ask, he went to find Toki.  
It wasn’t hard, he was in his room. “Toki, I needs you to be helping me tink of someting dat can fuck Murderfaces, someting worse dan de wolfs.”  
Toki was pleased that Skwisgaar was asking for his help, but what the hell?! “And you’s just think I know all about fuckings animals?”

Skwisgaar sat down beside him. “Well, dere was dat cat...”  
“I don’ts want to talk abouts that cat. That was a mean joke, and I was reallies drunks.”  
“Ja, but it ams reallies funny. Helps me, what ams de most brutal animal to gets fucks by?”  
“Probablies a horse. They’s got a real big cock.”  
That sounded promising. “Oh ja? And people does dat?” Just how big was a horse cock anyway?  
Toki shrugged, he’d just been repeating something he’d heard before. “I don’ts know, wants to look it up?”  
Skwisgaar nodded, he needed to know if this was indeed a horrible enough punishment for Murderface.

Grabbing his laptop and doing a search, Toki soon had a whole bunch of results. Horse fucking was a lot more popular than he would have expected. With a glance at Skwisgaar, who nodded encouragingly, he opened one.  
They watched in shock as the horse fucked the man on the screen, it was indeed really brutal. _Why_ would anybody want to do that?  
Skwisgaar shook his head sadly. “Murderfaces ams never goings to holds still for dat, we’s goings to has to drug him and takes pictures.”

Toki didn’t reply, just closed his laptop with a dazed expression.  
Skwisgaar patted him on the head, the little lightweight, and headed back to the butler’s office. Barging in as usual, he made his request. “I needs a horse, de kind dat has de balls.”  
Charles studied him in annoyance. “May I ask why?”  
“Becauses I ams goings to make it fucks Murderfaces, to gets him back for de wolf fuckings me.”  
“No, I’m sorry, I can’t allow that. It’s potentially deadly. I know you’re upset, but being fucked by a dog never killed anyone, it’s not the same at all.”

Getting up and stomping out without another word, Skwisgaar tried to think. He’d been sure he had the perfect revenge...  
He just happened to run into Pickles, literally.  
Pickles was almost knocked down, and not happy about it. “Dude, watch where yer goin’!” He noticed Skwisgaar’s expression. “Hey, ya okie?”  
“No Pickle. De butler won’ts let me has a horse to makes it fucks Murderfaces. He ams telling me it ams too dangerous.”  
“Ah thet’s too bad.” He considered. “Hey, cahm ta my room, I gat sahmthin’ thet might interst ya.”

With a shrug, Skwisgaar followed him.  
Once there, Pickles started rooting around in his closet, muttering to himself. Finally he found what he was looking for and turned, showing-  
“Pickle? Why’s you has a fake horse cock and-“ he squinted to read the box, “a box of Instants Horse Semens?”  
“They’re naught mine... Ya see, there was this chick, and she wanted me ta stick it in her an’ then dump fake horse cum on her. I didn’t, but she fergat it when she left tha next day.”  
“And you keeps it?”  
“Sure, why naught? I gat weirder stuff than thet in my closet.”  
“I ams not even goings to ask.”

Pickles was now waving the rubber horse cock around in a bored manner. “So what’s tha plan?”  
“I ams not sure, I has to talk to Toki about someting first. But we drugs Murderfaces, shoves dat up his ass, and puts a lots of de horse cum ons him. Someting likes dat anyways.”  
Pickles dropped both items into his night stand, and pulled out his bong. “Okie. Well I gat the drugs. Let me know when yer ready, I wannna be in on it.”  
“You gots it, Pickle.”  
He waved, and went back to find Toki, he was the only one who could make their plan work.

Toki was still in his room, just staring at the ceiling.  
Skwisgaar approached cautiously, no he wasn’t cationic. He sat down beside him. “Hey Toki? I has a new plan now, and you ams de only one who can helps me.”  
“Does I has to watch more horsie porn?”  
“Ja, sorries. Pickle has a fakes one, we ams goings to rapes him wit it. I needs you to do de photo programs ting and makes pictures of a reals horse doesing it.”  
Toki looked at him in disgusted resignation. “Naked Moiderface _and_ horse fuckings? I’s going to need a lots of alcohol to does this.”

He opened his laptop back up, pulling up the photos from their trip to the Amazon or where ever the fuck they’d ended up. Murderface had unfortunately spent a good amount of time naked, if there were usable pictures they wouldn’t have to pose him for more.  
Skwisgaar watched curiously as he scrolled through them, previously unaware that they had online albums of all this stuff.  
Fortunately for them both (and unfortunately because they had to see it), there were several photos that Toki thought he could use.  
Now all he had to do was take horse porn screen shots, ugh.

Skwisgaar went and got him a bottle, getting one for himself while he was at it, and headed back.  
Toki gratefully took the bottle, and they both drank as they worked their way through an assortment of horse porn videos.  
If he wanted to do a good job, he needed good quality videos with good lighting. Skwisgaar better appreciate this, it was pretty horrible.  
Finally he’d collected enough to begin the real work. Not possessing this particular skill, Skwisgaar quickly lost interest. Leaving the rest of his bottle, he left Toki to it.  
As soon as he was finished, the plan could move forward.

****

It took Toki almost a week to produce several very realistic “photos” of Murderface being fucked by a horse. “Okays, I’s all done.”  
Skwisgaar was delighted and sickened by the results, it was really excellent work.  
Toki didn’t look so good, in fact he hadn’t been eating very much lately. If Skwisgaar was the caring type he’d do something nice for him in repayment, but of course that wasn’t his style. “You wants to come with me and Pickle to does dis?”  
“Noes.” He’d already had all he could take of this project.

Gleefully, Skwisgaar went to tell Pickles that it was time.  
Pickles examined the photos with the appropriate amount of disgust and awe, or a nearly appropriate amount anyway, he was somewhat high. Nothing unusual there.  
Rooting around in a huge dish of pills (his version of Toki’s candy bowl), he selected a few that he wanted. Now all they had to do was drop them in something Murderface was drinking, and wait.  
Staking out the hallway near Murderface’s room, they waited. Soon a Klokateer bearing a beverage came along, and they stopped him. Pickles dropped the pills into the beer he carried, and Skwisgaar threatened, “Don’ts tell him or we has you kills.”

Mission accomplished, they went to Pickles’s room to retrieve the rubber horse cock, then headed for the kitchen to mix up a batch of the Instant Horse Semen.  
They made too much, soon they had nearly a gallon of the odd-smelling slimy ooze. It seemed thin enough to pour though, that was the important thing. The selected a funnel, they would have to throw it away later. There could be no chance of it ever being used to prepare something they might consume, not after being in Murderface’s ass.

Pickles announced that enough time had passed, so they made their way back to Murderface’s door.  
Opening it carefully, they saw that he was indeed deep in his drugged sleep. Up close, he smelled.  
Pickles insisted that Skwisgaar undress him, it was his revenge after all. Besides, he _did_ occasionally sleep with some pretty questionable women.  
Skwisgaar gritted his teeth and went too work, peeling off layer after layer of smelly, unwashed clothing.  
At last Murderface was completely naked.

****

Nathan was sitting in the hot tub alone, wondering where the hell everyone else was. They _never_ all disappeared at once like this, it was weird.  
Then the door opened and Toki wandered in, he didn’t look so good. “Hey Toki! Come here.”  
Listlessly, he came over and sat at the edge of the tub. Nathan was mildly concerned now. “Hey. Are you okay? Where is everybody else?”  
“Oh, they’s down rapings Moiderface with a fake horse cock. Skwisgaar mades me make pictures so he’ll believes it.”  
“What?! And they didn’t invite me?”

Toki just looked at him like he was crazy. “You wants to see that?”  
“Actually... now that I think about it, no I don’t.” It _had_ been pretty funny to see Skwisgaar with that wolf on him like that, but Murderface naked, with-  
Ugh, stop thinking about it. “Toki? Wanna stay and drink with me.”  
“That’s all I’s been doing latelys, but ja, sures.” With a shrug, he stripped down and climbed in. It was nice to do something normal, after slaving over the details of Murderface’s ass-  
He grabbed one of Nathan’s beers, chugged it, and reached for another. This one he drank slowly.  
They waited, trying not to think about what was going on below them.

****

Naked Murderface was a horrible sight. Skwisgaar pointed with one shaking finger. “What’s _dat_?”  
Pickles looked, and wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Dude, those are called dingleberries. I’m naught real surprised ta find ‘em, sad ta say.” He handed over the rubber horse cock. “Well it’s yer party, go to it.”  
Skwisgaar gagged, but this was his chance for revenge and he wasn’t going to let his weak stomach ruin it. “I tinks it needs lubes.” It _was_ pretty huge.  
Pickles offered the bowl. “Dip it in tha fake horse jizz.”  
Yeah, that would work really well. Skwisgaar dunked it, swishing it around.

 

The slimy, dripping, fake horse cock fortunately had an unrealistic tapered end. That would make it go in a lot easier.  
Skwisgaar took a deep breath and positioned it at Murderface’s asshole, nudging a too-close dingleberry aside. The he pushed, but it only bent. Determined, he grabbed it in the middle and tried again.  
This time it started sliding in, Instant Horse Semen did indeed make a wonderful lube. A bit too disgusting for everyday use, but quite effective. Pickles watched in fascination as inch after inch of the rubber horse cock slid into their bandmate.  
Murderface was _completely_ out of it, unresisting.

Skwisgaar began fucking him with it, explaining to ears that couldn’t hear him. “You tinks it ams funny to makes me fucks de wolfs, I makes you pays. Damns butler won’ts be letting me has de real horse, but I ams going to make sure you feels dis tomorrows.”  
Pickles was still watching, high enough to be fascinated. “Dude... remind me ta never piss ya off.”  
Skwisgaar kept thrusting it, with long vicious strokes. Pickles periodically dribbled more Instant Horse Semen on it helpfully, to keep things moving along.

Finally, after an undetermined amount of time, Skwisgaar yanked out the rubber horse cock and flung it out the open door. A Klokateer would come along and dispose of it sooner or later.  
Then he inserted the funnel, and started pouring in the Instant Horse Semen. “Hey Pickle? How much can he holds, does you tink?”  
“Eh, no idea. Jest keep pouring ‘till it doesn’t go in any more, I guess.”  
That seemed like as good plan as any, so that’s what he did, filling him until he overflowed with fake horse cum.

There was still a lot left, so Skwisgaar simply poured it all over Murderface’s already leaking ass. It ran down and made a huge puddle underneath him.  
Pickles nodded in admiration, reminding himself once again to never piss off Skwisgaar.  
Retrieving the Toki-made photos, they arranged them on the pillow so Murderface would have no choice to see him when he finally woke up.  
Sore ass, gigantic puddle of ‘horse cum’, photo evidence... yep, that should do it.  
Skwisgaar and Pickles left the room, handing the bowl and funnel to the first gear they saw and instructing them to burn it immediately. 

****

Murderface spent the next week hiding in his room.  
The evidence was undeniable, and he knew exactly who was responsible for his pain. He had learned his lesson, fucking with Skwisgaar was _not_ a good idea.  
Everybody else, of course, was still fair game. Being a dick was who he _was_ , if he didn’t have that then he had nothing.  
He did wonder however, just how they got those horses into his room. Actually, it probably wouldn’t have been too hard...

 

_THE END. NO MORE, DO NOT EVEN ASK._


End file.
